Selfhood & the Pursuit of Happiness

Ev’ryday, I grow

like vines wild, always stretching

past limitation.

 

I’ve been actively reflecting writing daily, and studying myself, others, connections and separations and upon review, I have to say I’m proud of who I’m slowly becoming because I’m more conscious and therefore in control of that becoming.  I’m practicing the art of self-awareness, self-control, and self-creating. I know that clarity re: my identity internally and externally determines the heights to which I soar creatively and in the material realm. I am really manifesting myself at this time, and trying to remain optimistic about the potential to reflect that increasing sense of inner contentment and abundance in the outside world.

This eclipse, combined with my own growing clarity and focus on connectivity has brought some endings, both to mindsets and relationships. It’s brought some mood changes and meanderings but it’s also brought me into direct contact and confirmation of my intuitive powers, my needs interpersonally, and my strength and growth with regard to letting go, staying persistent, and remaining faithful to myself. I have no regret in general. I am working steadily toward releasing the past, from childhood wounds, to relationships that triggered them and the pain that resulted from entering those connections.  My confidence in my self is re-emerging but the foundations are much deeper, much less dependent upon others perceptions or responses, more REAL.

I am now consciously choosing to engage only in connections and activities that include emotional AND mental report/communication because that’s what I know makes me feel both connected and valued.  Only those relationships focused on encouraging and engaging in growth and depth are fulfilling to me and I no longer feel apologetic in demanding that depth from those who enter my experience with the intention of engaging long term, whether platonic or otherwise. I have learned via much pain and loss that I sacrifice my sense of self when I accept less that what I desire because I do in fact deserve it.

 

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